itfeltvivid

itfeltvivid @ 2007-12-25T01:27:00

2007-12-25T06:28:36Z

i hate when i forget to save an entry as friends only.
especially if it's private and embarassing.
if you want to read my lj,
become my friend. :P

itfeltvivid @ 2007-10-06T23:35:00

2007-10-07T03:44:54Z

i want to try and change the world.
but not because it's the cool thing to do.
(is it the cool thing to do? i wish it was.)

i don't know where to begin, but i think i'll give love a chance.
not boyfriend/girlfriend love.
(we all know i'm not going to be ready for that for a long time.)

i've been a horrible lj friend, but i'm working on it again, sorry.

itfeltvivid @ 2007-09-11T15:28:00

2007-09-11T19:29:09Z

Is your love really love?
is my love really love?
I think our love isn't love
unless it's love to the end

Is your God really God?
is my God really God?
I think our God isn't God
if he fits inside our head

itfeltvivid @ 2007-09-03T12:15:00

2007-09-03T16:16:16Z

Hey what you got you don't know
Anything that I'm gonna say right now
Cuz I'm not so sure why I'm here and why I wanna
Keep on hanging 'round right now
Not that I do it now or any day.
Sometimes I just get burned out.
About lots of things and, well, just doubt

So tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cuz I'm confused and do I break into two
So tell me how about you

Hey what you got something bad and I want it
Even though I know it's wrong
But I won't be blessed cuz I know this so I can't have that
So I like a show I gotta be strong
Man I don't wanna be able to breathe
Be able to see what's become
Of the wars of this world
And the wars from my tongue

So tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cuz I'm confused and I bruise, yes I do, so tell me how about you
So tell me something good you got it and
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Come on baby and race me and maybe we'll just find ourselves

I wanna be I wanna be like that mountain
I wanna stand taller and bigger than rest.
See I just wanna be it a guy who wins all the time
I wanna be a big star; a king and rule my own life
And God, I know that it's wrong
So please just make my heart right
Inside and destroy my pride

So you can tell me something good-- you got it
Why I am so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Cuz I'm confused and I bruise yes I do so tell how about you
So please just tell me something good-- you got it
Why am I so misunderstood cuz I wanna know this
Come on, baby, and race me and maybe we'll just find ourselves

Hey what you got something bad and I want it
Even though I know it's wrong

i am

2007-06-19T01:03:22Z

I am the water, I am waves crashing onto you
I am the blank wave, I am the madness the lost, the dark, the heart, the cage, the rage
I am rejection, I am redemption
I am desire for obligation, I am forever, but I could be never if thats what you want
I am the desert, I am the oasis for strength, the weakness for arguments sake
I am rejection, I am redemption, I am desire for obligation, I am one step closer for you
Please tell me when you're through, because I may not be through with you
You're loss to sustain, but I will remain and prove to the....
This was the last (last) I ever took but would you take the time to look, or would you know?
Or would you know?
Or would you know?
Because I am the water, I am waves crashing onto you
You could pretend to be, but you will kill me when you're through.

itfeltvivid @ 2007-05-21T23:29:00

2007-05-22T03:31:43Z

COME TO THIS SHOW:

my first attempt at making a poster in photoshop. i hope i succeeded. D:

itfeltvivid @ 2007-05-15T00:05:00

2007-05-15T04:06:43Z

i don't think i've ever seen a tattoo so powerful and meaningful.

itfeltvivid @ 2007-05-09T23:41:00

2007-05-10T03:58:28Z

these guys never cease to amaze me.
ahh. :]

itfeltvivid @ 2007-04-29T23:21:00

2007-04-30T03:25:30Z

"I could not look Him in the face,
so I stood revarnishing the floor with my eyes.
He stared into them with this love so offended and profound.
He tore the center of my shirt
and red was bleeding through
from underneath the white clothes that I wore.
The fire of devotion was only an ember.
Alarmed at this sign of decay,
my legs gave out
because there was no self left to stand on.
Thus, my heart was grieved, vexed in my mind,
still Your banner over me was love.
My walls are ever before You,
still Your banner over me is love.
But it was Your kind arms cradling me, a criminal.
But it was Your kind arms cradling me, a criminal.
Oh wretched worm of a man that I am,
on Thy kind arms I fall.
I'm just a man.
I'm just a criminal."

itfeltvivid @ 2007-04-09T12:51:00

2007-04-09T16:53:47Z

You were a song I couldn't sing
caught like a bear by the bees with its hand in the hive
who complains of the pain of the sting
when I'm lucky I got out alive!
a life at best left half behind,
the taste of the honey still sweet on my tongue
and I'd run (Lord knows I've tried)
but there's no place on Earth I can hide
from the wrong I've done

then I saw a mountain and I saw a city
steadily sinking but suspiciously calm
it wasn't an end, it wasn't a beginning
but a ceaseless stumbling on
there, strapped like a watch on my wrist
that's finished with gold but can't tell the time
was all or what little pleasure exists
seductively sold and uselessly mine

our horse was fast and first from the gate
with the lead of a length at the sound of the gun
and the last of our cash laid down to fate (at 17 to 1)
but by the final stretch in the rear of the pack
that nag limping bad in the back
we reluctantly gave all the money we'd saved,
a fifth to the commonwealth and the rest to the track
then I saw a forest grow in the city
& a driftwood wall of birdhouse gourds
and I'm still waiting to meet a girl like my Mom
who's closer to my age

the true light of my eyes is a Pearl
equally emptied to equally shine
and all or what little joy in the world
seemed suddenly simple and endlessly mine

I was once the wine and you were the wineglass,
I was once alive when you held me,
but G-d became the glass,
all things left are emptiness
but oh, you're just a little girl
if you look out and see a trace
of a dark red that was once my face
in the clarity of such grace,
you'll forget all about me

itfeltvivid @ 2007-04-01T21:35:00

2007-04-02T01:36:17Z

Daniel broke the king's decree,
Peter stepped from the ship to the sea
there was hope for Job like a cut down tree,
I hope that there's such hope for me
dust be on my mind's conceptions
and anything I thought I knew
each word of my lips' description,
and on all that I compare to You

[the preference of the sun was
to the south side of the farm
I planted to the north in a terra-cotta pot
blind as I'd become, I used to wonder where you are -
these days I can't find where you're not!]

mine's been a yard carefully surface level tended foxes burrowed underground
my gardening so highly self-recommended,
what could I have done but let you down?

the sun and the moon,
I want to see both worlds as One!

mine's been a vivid story, dimly remembered
and by the hundredth time it's told, halfway true
of bad behavior well engendered
what good is each good thing we think we do?

[find a friend and stay close and with a melting heart
tell them whatever you're most ashamed of - our parents have made so many mistakes, but may we forgive them and forgive ourselves]

the sun and the moon are my Father's eyes

itfeltvivid @ 2006-06-25T17:19:00

2006-06-25T21:19:52Z

friends only.